"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love.” - Washington Irving

Monday, February 15, 2010

Day 6 Mass Offering

Monday, the start of the week. I slept in this morning, for a while laying in bed staring at my son's baby things. I know we have to function just the same but the day seems heavier today. The skies appear to be gloomy as well. The Heavens is grieving with me.

As I was wiping Marcus' sanctuary - that's how we call the altar we set up for him - this morning, I can't help but yearn for him yet again. My beautiful baby boy. I miss you terribly.

We will bring little Marcus to the chapel later for his 6th day of novena. I struggle to make myself ready to go out. To honor my son is not a task, I will do it everyday if need be. It is the emptiness that conquers me today that pulls me down. Though I will get by, I know little Angel Marcus would want me to be get by.

Yesterday, a good friend of ours, Mela, joined us to offer Holy Mass for little Marcus. We are truly appreciative of the love she extended to us. She took time out off her busy schedule to pray with us for Marcus. That to me is more gratifying than any dinner or coffee invites we receive. I still owe a lot of thank you's and responses to friends and family, however I still cannot seem do it right now. My energy is still drained and my heart is continually aching. All I can look to doing is type my thoughts in this journal, arrange and edit Marcus' photos and things, and listen to his music. In time, I will make it up to my friends and family, I promised myself that.

Chebong, Lizza, Elisse, and Max spent Valentine's Day with us, together with Mama, Ate Belle, Miguel, Mica, Bea, Cielo, and Daniela. It made coping with the day much easier having them around. Thank you once again my loving family. And little Angel Marcus is much thankful for the prayers you offer him.

It's almost time to hear mass. We will head down to the chapel soon. Prepping and carrying Marcus' urn has become routine for us. Papa Jhon has gotten used to carrying him, even though it hurts his shoulder. "It's nothing," he says. Like I said, we will climb mountains just to honor our little Angel Marcus. Camino de Santiago de Compostela in July?

We love you our baby Marcus!


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