A Letter of a Father to his Infant Child
by Papa Jhon
Our Dearest Marcus Baby,
Growing up there has never been any doubt that I am happiest when I am around children and most especially babies. I can never seem to get enough of them. I guess I’m either just a big kid or there is something about children that is so magical and the love that they give is so pure.
I have been so fortunate to be surrounded by my wonderful niece in the States as well as the 10 Torres kids all whom I love so dearly. Often I daydream how it would be like for Jet and I to have our own.
Seven months ago, the greatest gift from God came to us, you, our Marcus. The first time we found out we were pregnant with you, I immediately felt like I was on top of the world! There was a mixed feeling of nervousness and excitement, but mostly pure joy.
As Jet and I shared the good news to family and friends, all we could think about is how loved you will be. Everyone was so excited to hear the good news. Neither of your Titos and Titas could wait to see you. Our friends were so excited for your Mama and I. I remember telling you, “Marcus, you have a lot of crazy godfathers, but they are great. Once they take you out to the “go-go bars” you make sure I’m coming along." Your Titos and Titas would’ve spoilt you rotten.
Seven magical months, you were with us. It was pure joy and happiness. We were planning our lives around you. We wanted everything perfect for you. We immediately knew you were going to be special. You were very active and responded every time we would talk or touch you on your Mama’s tummy.
At the doctor’s, you were fast becoming popular with the nurses, residents, and interns. You were playful and often would show yourself briefly before running away as they poked you with the ultrasound. When we found out you were a boy, the doctor immediately said, “Oh he’s definitely a boy, look at his scrotum, he has a big one!” I immediately said, “Thank you, may namana sakin.”
On February 5, 2010, 8:57am, you arrived. Tita Belle and Grandma were there to calm me down. Tita Belle brought me a huge cup of coffee, yet I couldn’t contain my nerves, for all I wished was for your Mama and you to be 100%.
At the O.R., your Mama was able to see and hear you cry. After a few hours, I saw you, Marcus, you were so beautiful. I spoke to you and you responded with a kick. I put my ear near your incubator and heard your wonderful angelic voice. I saw you a few more times after, the doctor even had to kick me out.
After a few more hours your Mama was wheeled to our room. There we waited anxiously for you. We were so nervous because we didn’t have your things ready. Tita Belle, went out to buy you a gift and was so excited to get your clothes and the things you needed for your arrival. That night, Tita Mache, Ate Mica, Ate Bea, Ate Cielo, and Ate Daniela with Tita Rhoda came to visit. Ate Cielo bought you a stuffed giraffe. We were all so happy and very excited to see you.
Then the terrible news came. The doctor called me into the nursery as she told me you were having complications. You fought bravely to breathe, my love. Never had I imagined that after twelve hours you would be taken from us. Our world came crumbling down. We held you in our arms, kissed you, held your perfect hand, your perfect feet, and your perfect head as you faded. The pain is indescribable; I don’t think we will ever heal from losing you.
All through out my life, I was just an average person but there was one thing I knew I would be great at and that was to be your father. I imagined myself protecting you, guiding you, playing with you, and most of all loving you with all my heart. You are very special and it pains me that we won’t be given the chance to share you to the world. I’m sorry my Baby, I’m sorry I won’t be able to be the father I always wanted to be for you.
How do we move on without you my son? When will we see you again? We miss you terribly! We don’t want to let you go, but we have to, for you to be able to be at peace in Heaven. We know your light will always shine upon us. Your memory will live with us forever. You can rest now, no more pain my love.
Thank you for seven wonderful months, thank you for coming to us, thank you for fighting and holding on as long as you could to share a few precious moments with your Mama and I. THANK YOU!!!
I promise to take good care of your Mama. Till we meet again my son! I love you! Rest In Peace, you are in God’s care!
Papa
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A Letter to Baby Marcus from Ate Cielo
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A Sister, An Aunt: Tita Belle's Love
by Ate Belle
A child is a gift from God. And to be asked to return the gift after a fleeting moment, is a painful process we can only imagine... And yet to Jet and Jhon, we thank you, for generously and lovingly sharing your handsome baby Marcus to us, your most precious gift. Marcus is truly a symbol of LOVE.
Looking back in October 2009, Jet and Jhon happily announced to the family the joy of being blessed to be parents. Anticipating Marcus’ arrival in April brought so much excitement to the whole family. Marcus was the answer to our long wait to have another precious baby in the family... a baby to smother, kiss, cuddle, pinch, pamper, adore and love. His coming arrival brought so much joy not only to first time parents Jet and Jhon, but to the whole family. For the eager and overly excited kids in the family who couldn’t wait for Marcus to come out, for them it means more than a new cousin, but more like anticipating the arrival of a new brother. And to us, titas and titos, it’s having more than a new nephew but another son in our growing families. And for Grandma Myrna, the bliss of having another precious gift to spoil and love unconditionally...
However, God had a different plan for Marcus. He was first asked by the Lord to leave, as we are left here to grieve. But your short, fleeting moment with us Marcus will forever leave an imprint in our lives. And though our arms are empty, in our hearts is where you will forever be.
Tita Belle is honoured to be your Ninang, as I witnessed Fr. Santos baptize you as you gave your last breath in the arms of your most loving Mama and your deeply bereaved Papa. That moment will be forever etched in my memory and it has forever changed me. You Marcus, have been given to us by God to always remember that LOVE truly is the greatest gift. The love and joy you gave to your parents, the immeasurable, unconditional love of your Mama and Papa for you, and the most special and unique way you have showed your angelic presence in our family. You are our angel of LOVE Marcus, and as Kuya Miguel said, picturing a cute cherub in his mind, he is now our family’s cupid. Your short stay with us Marcus, is a priceless gift.
Quoting our Kuya Ken, “Jet and Jhon, we can’t find the right words to say at this very sad, heartbreaking moment...” Truly, what do you say to such great loss?
We feel the loss of Marcus but we can only imagine the void in your hearts with the loss of your son.
We comfort ourselves with the fact that the short life of Marcus, and Jet and Jhon’s love for their beloved son and unwavering love for each other, has taught us again, the precious gift of life, the invaluable support for family, a parent’s love beyond compare, and the loving embrace and presence of God at our most difficult moment. As our 7-year-old Daniela said, “...I pray dear God that what happened to Marcus, T.Jet and T. Jhon will not happen to anyone anymore...”
To Marcus, our little Jaime, who is now with Papa Jaime, we love you very much. You are our darling angel and we thank you for showing us LOVE and for teaching us to hang on to FAITH and HOPE. You’ll always be our precious baby and in our hearts, you live on, always there, never, ever gone...
To Jet and Jhon, our love and prayers are always with you. We pray that the Lord help you overcome the loss, the sorrow and the sadness. And that you strengthen your faith in the Lord and to look forward, not backward, to look up, and not down. Marcus is lucky to have wonderful, loving parents like you. We all miss Marcus but in God’s time we will all see his handsome face again, happy, smiling, with no tears, no pain, jubilant to see his family again.
Rest in peace, our little angel Marcus.
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A Letter to Baby Marcus from Kuya Miguel
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Homily on the Occasion of Marcus Jaime's 9th Day
by Fr. Gener
During the last week as each of us considered the untimely death of baby Marcus Jaime our hearts have been full of questions - chief amongst them being "how did this happen?" and "why did this happen?" These questions have not only been in the hearts and minds of Jhon and Marjorie and their families, but upon the lips of many of you who are here today.
We are not her today to answer these questions - even if we could. Rather we are here to mourn - to mourn and to commend Marcus Jaime into God's care, and to ask God to help us - and most especially help Jhon and Marjorie through their grief.
In the most beautiful of gardens, even those tended by the most skillful of botanists, there is an occasional rose that buds, but never opens. In all respects the rose is like all the others, but something keeps it from blooming. It fades away - or disappears - without having reached maturity.
What happens in nature's garden happens once in a while also in the garden of God's human family. A baby is born, beautiful, precious, but fails to come to its rightful unfolding. This child, like the bud that never fully opens, is gathered back into God's heavenly garden of souls.
Today we mourn our loss of a child. You weep, just as Jesus himself wept at the death of his friend Lazarus. Even if we knew the answers to the questions that rise so naturally to our hearts and minds at times like this, there still would be no adequate explanation for this loss. It is painful.
There are angels above. Angels who watch over the little ones of this earth. Jesus speaks of them when he tells his disciples to be careful not to think less of little children simply because they are little children, for in heaven, he says, their angels continually see the face of the Father in heaven.
There is a special place in the heart of God and amongst the angels for the little ones of this world just as there is a special place in our hearts today for Marcus Jaime.
And so we weep at what has happened. And so too - God weeps with us.
What can be said that might ease the pain, the grief that you - and all of us feel today?
There isn't much we can say that will help. We can express our sympathy and sorrow. We can offer words of love, care and concern. We can say we will pray for you. But other than that we don't know what to say about these things.
It is important to know that God is for you. God did not do this to you. God did not will Marcus Jaime's death or your pain. But God is with you in the midst of it all and will help you through it. God is for you. What is more, God gave up his own son for us all.
Jhon and Marjorie, God understands your pain. God had a son who died also. Jesus died on the cross for us.
Now you may think, "Sure, but Jesus rose from the dead." Well, because Jesus rose to new life you can be confident that Marcus Jaime has new life also, one that can never be snatched away from him - or from you.
Today - in your grief - know - that there is another angel in heaven whose name is Marcus Jaime. Cling to that hope - that promise of our God - and allow your tears to wash away the pain in the days and months to come.
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A Letter for Tito Jhon & Tita Jet from Mica & Bea
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A Letter to Baby Marcus from Ate Daniela
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A Letter to Baby Marcus from Ate Mica
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A Letter to Baby Marcus from Ate Lexi
