"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love.” - Washington Irving

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Day 5 Mass Offering - St. Valentine's Day

Nine o'clock in the morning, I woke up with the song "The Prayer" playing in my head. I immediately knew little Marcus was telling me to keep my faith strong and assured me God is with us. Last night I felt my faith was being challenged by specific worries. I prayed that our baby angel's pureness will not be tarnished by forces that might take advantage of our current vulnerability. As a mother, I want to ensure our Marcus' spirit and memory will remain ethereal and chaste. Before turning in last night I intently prayed to God to envelope us in His love and protection; and that little Marcus remain in His loving arms, safe and secure in His Sacred Heart. This morning, little angel Marcus revealed his magic once again... I opened my eyes with my faith stronger, my heart reassured.

Today is St. Valentine's Day. It would have been our Marcus' first heart's day. I have no words. The occasion barely entered our minds coming to this day. The thought of the day seems uneventful to us... inappropriate, honestly painful. I will just get spurts of reality when we pass through flower shops exhibiting at the mall. Maybe this day is also for us, for we are suffering from and mending a broken heart. The irony.

On a good note, we received a thoughtful gift yesterday. We told Mama that Marcus' flowers were starting to wilt. It was our plan to replenish his fresh blooms but Mama immediately offered to buy him some. She was looking at an arrangement laden with lilies and a cute little teddy bear for Marcus. However, we said we would prefer a wreath of white roses surrounding his urn. So we had a special arrangement done using 2 dozens white roses smothered with baby's breath fillers. Little angel Marcus' area is refreshed once again. Thank you Mama. You are the sweetest.

With the busy schedule of florists this weekend, we had quite a challenge looking for an establishment, in Power Plant Mall at least, to make Marcus' floral arrangement. As Jhon said last night, "When the rest turned us down, one kind person said yes." The owner of this one flower shop obliged us with a beautiful arrangement even though the roses we bought were not from him. I simply asked if he can make a simple wreath for our son's urn and he instantly responded with a yes, even extending his heartfelt condolences. His heart broke when he saw Marcus' tiny urn. This proves to be another testament to Marcus' magic. He brings out the best and the goodness in people.

Today as well, is Chinese New Year. Year of the Metal Tiger. I will never forget how ecstatic Jhon was when he found out months back that Marcus will be a tiger too like me. "He is really your junior," he said. This day appears to be pointless now.

I do not want to end today's journal without expressing our thanks to Ate Belle's never-ending thoughtfulness to us. Yesterday she gave Jhon and I crystal amethyst bracelets "to aid with our healing," she said. How very touching and sweet! Thanks a bunch Ate Belle.

Lastly, since it is Valentine's Day and it is a day of love and gift-giving, we would like to share the beautiful handmade cards and heartfelt letters Ate Mica, Ate Bea, Ate Cielo, Ate Daniela, and Kuya Miguel made for baby angel Marcus and for me and Jhon, the day we laid our baby to rest. The cards are filled with hearts and angels and rainbows which looks to be very fitting for today. The love that they have for Marcus overflows. We thank you dearly, our sweeties.

From Ate Cielo:

From Ate Mica & Ate Bea:

From Ate Daniela:

From Kuya Miguel:

You are very much loved our little angel Marcus! Love, love, love.

Day 5, later this afternoon we will bring you to the chapel, hear mass and have you blessed. It gives us confidence and assurance each day we take the Holy Eucharist for you. It will be our Valentine's Day date :) God bless you our son.


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