"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love.” - Washington Irving




Sunday, February 28, 2010

Angel

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight












In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Barely Getting By

It's been days since my last entry in our journal. I try to get myself up and write down my thoughts and feelings, but cannot seem to. Instead I try to go about our day making sure everything is in order and making sure Jet and Lola have everything they need.

Have I been afraid of my feelings which I'm keeping inside? Perhaps! Today is tougher than ever. After having gone to the place where our son was taken from us inflicted more pain in my wounded heart. All I can think and feel today is that I should be watching Marcus, I should be feeding him, changing him, or playing with him. To hear him laugh or cry or just to see him open his eyes. I can only dream and imagine. It's killing me.

It pains me to see my Jet cry and hurt. I wish I could say everything will be alright but I'll just be fooling myself. Things won't be alright, today, tom, the following day, and the day after. This is how I feel and see things right now. I won't be able to see my son grow. We won't be able to spend time as father and son. Everything that I do always has a thought of Marcus attached to it. As simple as washing the dishes, I think about washing his bottles. When I tidy up, all I see is that I'm tidying his things as well.

I'm afraid. I feel as if there will be a sudden outpour of emotions yet to come out from the shell that I have created in my heart. Yet, through this great emotional struggle I still find some light from God. I am reminded that He is in control of our life. With such reassurance I am barely getting by...

I pray that we will be okay. God, I put my trust in You. Show us the way, tell me what it is that You want from me and I will whole heartedly follow.

Marcus my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much! I love you with all my heart!!!

19 Days Without Marcus

Yesterday we went to my doctor for a follow-up check up. It was hard going back to the place where it all happened. Before turning to the hospital lobby the feeling of dread was already overpowering. I couldn't believe we were back there again. Every step towards our doctor's office reminded us of the memory of our harrowing moment. This was the place were we lost our son. Our precious gift that was taken away from us just 19 days ago.

We braved entering Dra. Chua's office hoping to get everything over with as fast as we can. Sadly, even with an appointment we had to wait it out for 45 minutes before it was our turn. When the assistant took my vitals it was evident I was stressed when my blood pressure recorded 152/95 the first try and 139/92 the second time. I am not usually a hypertensive person.

When my name was called by Dra. we dragged ourselves into the office, apprehensive to see her for the first time after our hospital discharge. She immediately asked how I was, how we were. She considerately asked if everything was okay on my part. I forced a smile and just said, "No." She couldn't say anything more but "I understand."

When she did an examination she said that I am healing really well "physically." That my stitches are beautiful and well taken care of. I am healthy. Everything is technically in order. Thanks to my dedicated nurse, Jhon.

But not everything is okay. After she finished giving us further prescriptions, she asked if there is anything more she can do for us, if not, she will see us in a month. I could not stop myself from speaking up and started to ask her questions. More questions that have been hanging in my head for weeks. I asked her why this could've happened to our son when my best friend from New York had the same experience and she and her baby got through it. I told her that I believe she did everything by the book, I researched on it. I trusted her decisions. I just needed to hear what her assumptions were on why my baby did not survive his battle. Why did that happen to him? I am still looking for answers why.

She could only assume based on the information provided by the neo-natal pediatrician. I asked her if it was possible for our Marcus to have survived it even if one of his lungs collapsed. She said, "Yes if they got to remove the air from his lung."

"They did surgery on him. They also gave him manual CPR. But he wasn't responding to treatment Dra. Corpus said. He was slowly deteriorating," Jhon contributed.

"There are a few factors. One is the development of his lungs as I mentioned to you before. Another could be infection, pneumonia, although we were giving you antibiotics. I was really surprised when he started to have complications. When I delivered him, he was pink not blue, he was healthy, you heard him cry. When I visited him at the nursery he was doing well. The only contraption on him was the oxygen mask," she explained with a heavy heart.

All I could think of was 'Why?' Why my little baby boy? Did we do everything we can to save him? I can't help but blame myself. That night still seems like a blur to me. I am still confused. Everything happened so fast. I did not know what was going on. When they brought me to the nursery I was not sure if Marcus was still alive. Was he fighting for his life? Was there still hope? What else could I have done for him? Did I choose the best doctor for him? Should I have told the doctor not to give up? Should I have told the nurse not to stop pumping his oxygen? Should I have whispered to Marcus "fight" instead of saying goodbye? Should I have held him longer in my arms so he could've felt my warmth, and maybe, he would've responded? I would've given my life for him. If only I could turn back time!

Didn't we pray enough for God to grant us a miracle?

I still can't accept the fact that he is gone. I can't fool myself and say that I am okay. My heart is so broken. My soul is crushed. I still do not want to move on! I find refuge in the pain. I cannot move on... I miss him so much! I should be breast feeding him now, carrying him in my arms. Oh just to hear him cry. I will never forget his beautiful, angelic voice... Very soft, very gentle. And what I would give just to see him open his eyes and see him look at me. To see the color of his eyes...

Mama misses you terribly, my baby Marcus! Tears never stop...

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A Love that is Lola

This afternoon we got a wonderful surprise in the form of our Lola Talula. Our baby girl is back. We have been terribly missing her for days. We held off not getting her from Jhon's family for a bit... we were not sure if we were already capable of taking care of her. We did not want her neglected.

Our day started roughly. Jhon and I had lunch talking about our little Angel Marcus. We were sharing our thoughts on how we pictured our daily life when Marcus arrived. How we planned and envisioned our lives around him. It is still hard to accept that we won't be able to experience that life with our baby boy. Our early afternoon was filled with tears and despair.

But the mood of our home changed when Lola arrived. As soon as she entered the front door Jhon was immediately greeted by her classic excited spinning. She ran towards me as I instantly carried her into my arms. We felt her love right away. She is very responsive towards us and we are showered with her quiet affectionate ways... for she feels what we are going through. She is just startling like that. It's good to have her back. Our home is a bit brighter now that our Lola is back.

Thank you to Tita Zenny, Regina, Ferdi, Suki, and Bianca for taking care of her. It gave us peace of mind that she, the whole time, was in good hands because they were there for her.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Mornings

Every morning Jhon wakes up a few minutes ahead of me. He gets up and goes straight to our darling Marcus' sanctuary. It doesn't fail, I hear him say, "Good morning baby!" His voice bleak yet faintly happy. Then he lights his candle and Papa Jaime's as well. It breaks my heart every time. He sounds like he is talking to our baby, just sleeping in his crib. Oh what could've been.

This has become our daily routine. This is how we cope. We watch his video everyday, we listen to his music. It gives us comfort.

At night before turning in, we let Marcus' candle die down. Then Jhon switches on his lamp and we say goodnight to our baby.



I miss our little Angel so much it hurts. It's one of those days. My heart feels extra heavy. I eat because I need to but the food is tasteless. The only thing we seem to have appetite for is sweets. Chemical imbalance is what Jhon and I call it.

Oh our baby Marcus...

Saturday, February 20, 2010

We are very much Blessed... Thank You for the Love

February 18, 10:30 p.m., while winding down from our little Angel Marcus' 9th day, the guard downstairs called. I asked Jhon what it was about, he simply said, "There's a package delivery."

I immediately wondered, "Why so late in the night?"

When Jhon opened the door, a bunch of perfectly arranged flowers were dropped off by 2 men. From one vase to another, the amazing arrangements were placed on our dining table. I was dumbfounded.

"Oh my God! How beautiful!"

"Happy Valentine's, baby. Here check this one," Jhon said smiling as he handed me 4 long-stemmed red tulips, my favorite flower, arranged oh so intricately in a glass vase. The card read:
To Our Dearest Mama, with all our love,
Happy Valentine's Day!
We love you
From: Baby Marcus and Jhon
I could not hold back my tears. All I could do was hug Jhon... with my voice breaking, I said thank you. It was the most beautiful present I've ever received. I couldn't have asked for anything better.


"And this one's from my family," he added. A towering display of flowers, roses I think, in white with purple tips were bunched in a beautiful textured vase. As well as another flower presentation laden with yellow, pink, and light green carnations were included. A card was placed and it wrote:
To Jet,
Please know our loving thoughts embrace you and Jhon.
Our prayers are with you always. Know the Family is here for you Both.
We love you, Jhon and Baby Marcus
Love...
The Salvadors

The 4th arrangement was for our Mama. It consisted of pink stargazer lilies and roses beautifully secured in a hurricane vase. It smelt so good. I immediately called our driver to pick up the gorgeous gift to be delivered to her right away. The next day she appreciatively told me she loved the flowers and that she placed it at the altar.


The 5th and most special gift was the wreath for darling baby Marcus. When Jhon showed it to me I thought the roses were not real. Each rose is as white as snow, so perfect, down to each shiny leaf.


When Jhon and I placed Marcus' tiny urn on the wreath it literally looked like he was laying on a bed of roses. Such a wonderful sight.


What a beautiful surprise indeed. The whole while, I thought Jhon and his family were only planning to gift our Mama with flowers as a thank you. However, the present for me from them, Jhon and baby Marcus was too precious. I can't stop looking at them. I made sure I placed them all over our place so it looks like little Marcus' garden. It's just breathtaking.


I am touched. I truly appreciate the love and prayers our Salvador family is sending us. Tita Zenny, Ate Sherry, and Regina check up on us everyday. They see to it that Jhon has everything he needs. They constantly ask him if there is anything at all that they can do for him, for us. Jhon feels so loved.

Jhon said Ate Sherry wants to go home, she wants to see Marcus. Ferdi bought a necklace with Marcus' name on it and wears it around. Suki is obviously crushed and would Tweet about it. They all immensely love our baby Marcus. They are all doing their best to function while deeply mourning the loss of our little angel. We all feel the same heartbreak.

I am happy that the magic of our little Angel Marcus has brought everybody together, in one love. He has made each one of us realize the true meaning of care and love for one another. We see it all around, from people whose lives he touched. Jhon and I ourselves make sure that we be consciously good toward people, extra kind and patient. May it be family, friends, or strangers. Life is too short.

Thank you for the love, my second family. Your love overflows. Thank you our baby Marcus for showing us how to love.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Day 9 Mass Offering - Blessing of Baby Marcus' Sanctuary

We are relieved. This afternoon was our baby Marcus' 9th day of novena/mass offering... we celebrated Holy Mass at our place to make sure our little angel's sanctuary was properly blessed. Jhon and I are touched that our Mama, Kuya Ken and Joanne, Ate Mache, Ate Belle, Mica, Bea, Cielo, Daniela, and Miguel were able to join us. Tita Marissa and Suzette together Rose and her daughter came as well. They all got to see our 'dedication of love' for our little darling.


Fr. Gener, was one of the priests who celebrated mass and blessed our Marcus during his 8 days at the chapel. We particularly loved his homily and the sincerity of his personal prayer for our baby when he was blessed. He even kissed our baby's urn twice upon blessing him. He found our baby's story to be deeply emotional. Jhon and I knew right there that we wanted him to hold our little angel's 9th day Holy Mass and blessing. And we were fortunate enough Fr. obliged us with a few hours of his time for our dear baby Marcus.

During the mass, Fr. read his very special homily for little angel Marcus. What he wrote brought tears to my eyes yet comfort in my heart that God is there... and that our little angel is safe in His arms in heaven. Thank you Fr. Gener, we are truly grateful. Thank you for making our baby's 9th day extra special.

Homily on the occasion of Marcus Jaime's 9th day:

During the last week as each of us considered the untimely death of baby Marcus Jaime our hearts have been full of questions - chief amongst them being "how did this happen?" and "why did this happen?" These questions have not only been in the hearts and minds of Jhon and Marjorie and their families, but upon the lips of many of you who are here today.

We are not her today to answer these questions - even if we could. Rather we are here to mourn - to mourn and to commend Marcus Jaime into God's care, and to ask God to help us - and most especially help Jhon and Marjorie through their grief.

In the most beautiful of gardens, even those tended by the most skillful of botanists, there is an occasional rose that buds, but never opens. In all respects the rose is like all the others, but something keeps it from blooming. It fades away - or disappears - without having reached maturity.

What happens in nature's garden happens once in a while also in the garden of God's human family. A baby is born, beautiful, precious, but fails to come to its rightful unfolding. This child, like the bud that never fully opens, is gathered back into God's heavenly garden of souls.

Today we mourn our loss of a child. You weep, just as Jesus himself wept at the death of his friend Lazarus. Even if we knew the answers to the questions that rise so naturally to our hearts and minds at times like this, there still would be no adequate explanation for this loss. It is painful.

There are angels above. Angels who watch over the little ones of this earth. Jesus speaks of them when he tells his disciples to be careful not to think less of little children simply because they are little children, for in heaven, he says, their angels continually see the face of the Father in heaven.

There is a special place in the heart of God and amongst the angels for the little ones of this world just as there is a special place in our hearts today for Marcus Jaime.

And so we weep at what has happened. And so too - God weeps with us.

What can be said that might ease the pain, the grief that you - and all of us feel today?

There isn't much we can say that will help. We can express our sympathy and sorrow. We can offer words of love, care and concern. We can say we will pray for you. But other than that we don't know what to say about these things.

It is important to know that God is for you. God did not do this to you. God did not will Marcus Jaime's death or your pain. But God is with you in the midst of it all and will help you through it. God is for you. What is more, God gave up his own son for us all.

Jhon and Marjorie, God understands your pain. God had a son who died also. Jesus died on the cross for us.

Now you may think, "Sure, but Jesus rose from the dead." Well, because Jesus rose to new life you can be confident that Marcus Jaime has new life also, one that can never be snatched away from him - or from you.

Today - in your grief - know - that there is another angel in heaven whose name is Marcus Jaime. Cling to that hope - that promise of our God - and allow your tears to wash away the pain in the days and months to come.

Thank you our dear family, for again being there for us. We are definitely blessed to have you in our lives. We couldn't do this without you. Thank you!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Day 8 Mass Offering - We Are Not Alone

I am overwhelmed...

For the past days since we shared our online journal for darling Marcus to family and friends, Jhon and I have been constantly receiving thoughts of support and sympathy from the most unexpected people with overflowing compassion and prayers. Likewise, messages of love and comfort from people who I never knew went through the same ordeal as we did.

My high school best friend Trisha, who is thousands of miles away, shared with me the touching story she went through with her second child, dear Rielle. Though theirs had a happy ending, their journey is like deja vu to me, so I want to dedicate an entire journal entry just for that at a later time.

For now, I want to share the comparable stories of friends and family who went through, and who are still going through, the same pains we are. A friend, Grace, whom I haven't seen in years just informed me that she had a miscarriage last week. I am shocked. I feel truly sorry that I still could not answer her call. At this time, I believe I am not yet in the right emotional state to talk. Though I will message her for sure. I will make sure I am there through this also very trying time in her life.

My cousin Kuya Bob and wife Susan, recounted to me last night that they experienced the loss of their third child while Susan was on her 6th month of pregnancy. I am crushed, I never realized. And no matter how heartbreaking, Kuya Bob gave us hope by sharing this scripture that encouraged him and Susan during their difficult moment:
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
I know there are a lot of parents grieving the loss of a child, but I never expected that a number of which are much closer to home. Friends of family, friends of friends. People we actually know, who also grieve in silence. We feel a certain connection with them. It is quite relieving to realize that we are not alone. Jhon and I thank you for sharing your experiences with us.

Also today, is Ash Wednesday. It is the first day of Lent where we repent before God. When we receive the ash in the shape of the cross, we are reminded:
"Remember, O man, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return." Genesis 3:19

"Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel." Mark 1:15
Jhon and I want to make a personal devotion for our little Angel Marcus within the 40 days before Easter. Ever since we lost our son, we feel that we have become better persons, better Christians deep within. Though we are still looking within us to offer up something to God. The love for our son Marcus will lead the way.

Day 7 Mass Offering - Love Happens

We heard mass this afternoon for little Angel Marcus' 7th day. The chapel's sacristan has started to remember us and our daily blessing requests from the priest for dear Marcus. We will not forget to thank him on Marcus' 9th day of novena.

We have gotten used to finding comfort in hearing Holy Mass everyday. Jhon and I promised to hear mass as often as we can, when I am fully recovered, even after Marcus' 40th day. This will be our personal vow to God and proudly another testament to our Marcus' magic.

After dinner with Mama, Ate Belle, Ate Mache, Mica, Bea, Cielo, Daniela, and Miguel, and together with Rhoda, Suzette, and DeeDee, we all headed to the theaters to watch a movie. Ate Belle a few days ago convinced Jhon and I to watch "Love Happens." She mentioned that the movie is not mostly a love story but more about coping with the loss of a loved one. She pushed that it will be helpful for us, so we agreed.

We could not help but relive the loss of our Marcus throughout the movie. Jhon and I could not let go of each other's hands, we just kept on squeezing each other at every scene. The tears would not stop. It has only been 11 days since we lost our angel Marcus. The wounds are as fresh as day one.

This reminded me of a quote from a person who posted a comment in You Tube about grieving. It said, "Just because I smile doesn't mean I'm happy... because it takes a smile to cover a thousand tears..."

Though Ate Belle was right. The movie did help us. It reminded us that, in time, we will eventually heal. That it is okay to grieve and that we are not alone in this trial we are going through.

Jhon and I have been looking for a movie that can help us with our healing. A movie that will constantly bring to mind that we are not alone. That God did not micromanage the loss of our dear son Marcus. This movie is it.

Thank you Ate Belle for again helping us remember that we can get through this, and that we will eventually get through this... but not just yet.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Ate Mache's Love

We are truly blessed to have such a loving and supportive family... especially now during this very trying moment in Jhon and I's lives. I cannot help but thank our little Marcus for the love that envelopes us... his magnificent gift of bringing out the best in people and the unconditional love our loved ones show for each other.

Looking back to when we told Ate Mache about the good news of Marcus last October 2009, we remember how confidently happy she was for us even saying, "I knew it, I kinda had a feeling. No wonder you were gaining weight!" She was the first one we told in the family. There was no doubt in our minds that she and Ate Belle would be ecstatic. The two Ninangs that we planned to be, and in our hearts, the true Ninangs of our dear son Marcus.

When Jhon and I decided to conduct a service for our baby Marcus, still confined at the hospital just one day after the loss of our son, I asked my dear sister Ate Mache, to make a video presentation of our Angel using the song "Gone Too Soon." Despite her busy schedule, without question, she willingly complied.

The day we got discharged from the hospital, Ate Mache was the one who went straight to Heritage Park to ensure that little Marcus will be ready for us to view when we see our son once again. She also took care of all the arrangements for the service.

February 9, during our little Angel Marcus' service, Ate Mache's message was immensely heartwarming. She spoke extemporaneously and relived the night we lost baby Marcus. We knew how hard it was for her. We remember how she went back and forth, from me at our room, to Jhon at the neonatal nursery to make sure we were okay. We can't even start to conceive how Jhon and I would've handled the tragic news if Ate Mache was not there with us. Like she said, "Being a mother of 4 daughters, I can imagine how difficult it was for Jhon and Jet."

What amazed us the most was when she accompanied little Marcus to Heritage Park at around 1 a.m. to make sure everything was in place and baby Marcus was safe. She could not summon herself to leave him and stayed till 6 a.m. telling Jhon the next day, "Hindi ko siya maiwan. He looks like he was just sleeping."

Watching the video brings tears to our eyes. Ate Mache could not have done a better job... Marcus' pictures are perfect, the beautiful words about an angel, it truly defines how our baby Marcus is.

The meaning of an “angel” is the confirmation of God and His celestial power…

Likewise, an angel is a blessed being who has severed all ties with this nether world…

Has been released from the chains of self and the desires of flesh…

And anchored his heart to the heavenly realms of the Lord…

Thank you Ate Mache for the love. Thank you for helping us share Marcus' memory to everybody through this video presentation. You stayed up till 12 a.m. with Alain and Gina to make certain the AVP was done in time for the service. Thank you to Alain for extending his photo editing skills to Ate Mache. Marcus' pictures are beautiful... he is so handsome. Thank you!

Below, see Ate Mache's love:

video

THANK YOU ATE MACHE, WE LOVE YOU! LITTLE ANGEL MARCUS LOVES YOU!

Unconditional Love of a Sister, an Aunt

Ate Belle... my dearest older sister who, ever since the announcement of Jhon and I's pregnancy, have been the most thrilled and most vocal of her excitement. Since day one, we never felt anything but unconditional love and support from her. We will never forget the night by the Rockwell Christmas tree, when she greeted us with the tightest and longest hug. Even without saying a single word, she made it known that she loved us and that she was very happy for us. We all had happy tears. She made the journey for us nervous soon-to-be parents smooth-sailing and so much more fruitful.

Jhon and Ate Belle's Miguelito are very close. Jhon feels a deep connection towards him... he feels he needs to fill that void in Miguel. He remembers the day he told our nephew Miguel, that we were going to have a baby. It was the end of November 2009 while helping our Mama arrange Christmas decorations in Greenhills, Jhon carried Miguel, sat him on his lap and announced the good news. "Miguel, I'm going to tell you something. It's good news! You are going to be Kuya soon!"

His eyes lit up while at the same time still trying to comprehend the whole situation. "Tita Jet and I are going to have a baby," Jhon continued.

Still very fresh in Jhon's mind, he recalls how excited Miguel was to tell his cousins. "Can I tell Ate Cielo and Daniela?"

These bittersweet memories will live forever in our hearts. The beauty and joy little Angel Marcus brought to all of us is magical.

Here below is a letter from a loving sister, a loving aunt, sharing her joys and pains in losing a nephew... a son. When I asked Ate Belle to say something with Ate Mache for little Marcus at his service, she simply said still very much distraught, "Hindi ko yata kaya."

I understood from there that her aching heart won't be able to muster the pain. But the next day I was deeply touched when the event coordinator revealed during the service, "... their sister Belle will say something." I thought maybe she made a mistake.

Ate Belle is an orchestrator, she works very well behind the scenes. The main reason why baby Marcus' service turned out to be beautiful. That's her gift. But that day, the day we laid our little Angel Marcus to rest, she spoke in front of everybody and proclaimed her love for him.

Until now, going through her letter again and again, we can't help but shed a thousand tears. We cry because we feel how much she loves us. We cry because we feel how much she loves our darling Marcus.

Thank you Ate Belle, we are forever grateful! Thank you for letting us document your letter to the world.

Ate Belle's love:

A child is a gift from God. And to be asked to return the gift after a fleeting moment, is a painful process we can only imagine... And yet to Jet and Jhon, we thank you, for generously and lovingly sharing your handsome baby Marcus to us, your most precious gift. Marcus is truly a symbol of LOVE.

Looking back in October 2009, Jet and Jhon happily announced to the family the joy of being blessed to be parents. Anticipating Marcus’ arrival in April brought so much excitement to the whole family. Marcus was the answer to our long wait to have another precious baby in the family... a baby to smother, kiss, cuddle, pinch, pamper, adore and love. His coming arrival brought so much joy not only to first time parents Jet and Jhon, but to the whole family. For the eager and overly excited kids in the family who couldn’t wait for Marcus to come out, for them it means more than a new cousin, but more like anticipating the arrival of a new brother. And to us, titas and titos, it’s having more than a new nephew but another son in our growing families. And for Grandma Myrna, the bliss of having another precious gift to spoil and love unconditionally...

However, God had a different plan for Marcus. He was first asked by the Lord to leave, as we are left here to grieve. But your short, fleeting moment with us Marcus will forever leave an imprint in our lives. And though our arms are empty, in our hearts is where you will forever be.

Tita Belle is honoured to be your Ninang, as I witnessed Fr. Santos baptize you as you gave your last breath in the arms of your most loving Mama and your deeply bereaved Papa. That moment will be forever etched in my memory and it has forever changed me. You Marcus, have been given to us by God to always remember that LOVE truly is the greatest gift. The love and joy you gave to your parents, the immeasurable, unconditional love of your Mama and Papa for you, and the most special and unique way you have showed your angelic presence in our family. You are our angel of LOVE Marcus, and as Kuya Miguel said, picturing a cute cherub in his mind, he is now our family’s cupid. Your short stay with us Marcus, is a priceless gift.

Quoting our Kuya Ken, “Jet and Jhon, we can’t find the right words to say at this very sad, heartbreaking moment...” Truly, what do you say to such great loss?

We feel the loss of Marcus but we can only imagine the void in your hearts with the loss of your son.

We comfort ourselves with the fact that the short life of Marcus, and Jet and Jhon’s love for their beloved son and unwavering love for each other, has taught us again, the precious gift of life, the invaluable support for family, a parent’s love beyond compare, and the loving embrace and presence of God at our most difficult moment. As our 7-year-old Daniela said, “...I pray dear God that what happened to Marcus, T.Jet and T. Jhon will not happen to anyone anymore...”

To Marcus, our little Jaime, who is now with Papa Jaime, we love you very much. You are our darling angel and we thank you for showing us LOVE and for teaching us to hang on to FAITH and HOPE. You’ll always be our precious baby and in our hearts, you live on, always there, never, ever gone...

To Jet and Jhon, our love and prayers are always with you. We pray that the Lord help you overcome the loss, the sorrow and the sadness. And that you strengthen your faith in the Lord and to look forward, not backward, to look up, and not down. Marcus is lucky to have wonderful, loving parents like you. We all miss Marcus but in God’s time we will all see his handsome face again, happy, smiling, with no tears, no pain, jubilant to see his family again.

Rest in peace, our little angel Marcus.

WE LOVE YOU ATE BELLE, AND LITTLE ANGEL MARCUS LOVES YOU!