On Marcus' 4th Birthday

I slept early last night excited in anticipation to celebrate your 4^th birthday as your Mama, Lola, and I have the day all planned out for your special day.

Your Grandma Zenny, Tita Regina, Tito Suki, and your cousin baby Carine started off celebrations by buying you a chocolate cake and released balloons all for you. Later today in the U.S., Tita Sherry and Ate Lexi will be doing the same.

We feel the love of everyone as they remember you, our son.

Yet, I ache because we would’ve loved to see you blow your birthday candle and see you growing up. I imagine you my baby and at times seeing you as a toddler at this age. I could hear you speak, see you growing up handsomely looking like Mama, and most especially a well behaved baby that you are.

I feel so blessed, because I see you everyday. I see you in your Mama, sometimes I stare at her telling myself how much I love her and at the same how you look exactly like her. As much I debate with your Mama, there’s no denying that you are junior Mama. This makes me very happy. I get to look at your Mama and see you at the same time everyday.

I can’t help the tears from falling. We miss you always, and as we celebrate this day every year, I remember it so vividly as it were yesterday. Your mama and I are the proudest parents and the day you came to us is and still the happiest day of our lives.

I wish most of the time that I could hold and play with you just for a moment, even in my dreams. One day I know we will all be together for eternity. For the time being we will live our lives to the fullest always keeping you our hearts and minds. The gift that is you and how you changed our lives… forever.

You Would've Been 4 Years Old Today

Hello my love,

Happy Birthday!

I fell asleep last night thinking and praying for you, eagerly anticipating your special day. You would've been 4 years old now. I am missing you painfully that I could only think of one special post on Instagram to announce your birthday...

Nothing is more befitting (for me) of how I am feeling today. To hug and kiss you just one more time...

Your Papa and I are playing special songs dedicated for you today. I made you a special "happy" playlist and the music harps our apartment today.

As I Lay Me Down To Sleep

Awake

February Song

Clouds

I'll Remember

Kahit Isang Saglit

I Will Be Here

We lit candles with your Prayer Card displayed in our living room. And today, I will miss my cours pratique because we will celebrate your special birthday. I cannot go to class on your birthday. Not today. 

We will go to church and hear mass for you, light candles, and pray The Divine Mercy. Then we will buy you a beautiful and yummy Opera cake from the patisserie that invented it! And of course, your flowers. I'm excited to see what I will find at the flower shop for you today :)

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We are so blessed to wake up this morning and receive the sweetest gift - for you! Your Grandma Zenny, Tita Regina, Tito Suki, and Carine baby celebrated your birthday with you :) :)

Needless to say, your Papa and I were in tears. It's so special, right?! Thank you so much for all the love!

Baby Carine blew the birthday candle for you, and they released balloons to keep with our yearly tradition "to reach you" in heaven.

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We are off in a while to celebrate your birthday in Paris - a first :) Papa looks so handsome and wore a polo with your baby blue color. He dressed up to the nines for you, honey :)

I will post photos of our day, I promise. I know you are with us today, my angel, and are celebrating with us. (How do I hold back tears when I am missing you so much?!)

Je t'aime, my baby Marcus (love, love, love)

Here's the photo update of your birthday celebration in Paris, my love...

This is the pamphlet we kept as a souvenir from the church in rue de Vaugirard where we prayed the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy for you.

Papa Jhon so excited and happy to catch Dalloyau still open for us to buy your birthday cake. It was a very cold and windy afternoon, yet we braved the long walk because it is your birthday :)

After having dinner at a Korean restaurant, we were very lucky to catch a flower shop still open after 9 p.m. to buy your very special white roses. The owner was an old man who was very sweet and very accommodating to us.

Together with your birthday cake, we also bought some macarons to try out for "research" :)

Your birthday cake :) We chose the Opera because Dalloyau is the pastry shop that created this very popular French cake. Only the best for our baby boy. It was very good!

When we got home, I arranged your roses in a vase, lit a candle, and placed your prayer card together with your birthday gifts. Lola Talula knew that it was your birthday too!

Look how beautiful your roses are blooming the next day! This year I chose this gorgeous color together with your white ones. Paris has the best and freshest roses we've seen! Every time I see a rose, I always remember you, my love...

Happy 3rd Birthday, My Marcus

My Dear Baby Marcus,

I do not want February to pass without posting in your blog. It has become a tradition that every year, on your birthday, I write you a love note. Another year have passed again, my love, and there we were, your Papa and I, remembering your very special day. You would've been 3 years old now, my love. To celebrate your birthday, we heard Mass at the chapel and had you blessed by Fr. Carlo which is the most important thing. With your birthday falling on a Tuesday, we decided not to hold a gathering for everyone was busy and your cousins had school. It was simple yet always a very memorable day for me and your Papa. After dinner, we passed by the flower shop to buy you your very special roses. I chose the combination of white and pink this time - I'm sure you loved it, right my baby? Aren't they beautiful?

And I know you are extra happy this year because God has given us another blessing! It was meant to be, my love, just a few days before your birthday we found out that we were pregnant. A miracle happened again, my baby! Thank you for always amazing Mama and Papa and always watching over us. We are so blessed to have a very special little angel up in heaven.

I still think about you everyday, my Marcus. Every happy moment I experience I attribute to you. And when I am sad, I just think of you, then I am okay. Mama will never forget you, my baby, and you will forever be in my heart. My little angel.

I love you forever,

Marcus' Remembrance Day 2012

At 5:30 in the afternoon, to start our little angel's commemoration day, a Holy Mass was celebrated by Fr. Maxwell. I wish I got the chance to record his homily, it was beautiful. He said that we remember and celebrate Marcus' birthday not to pray for him in hopes of him getting to heaven, but we pray for him to pray for us who are still here on earth. It is already a given that he is with God in paradise, and we pray for him - as our intercessor - up in heaven. We need him to pray for us and whisper to God for us.

Beautiful isn't it?

When the Mass ended, we prayed our special Prayer for Marcus. I printed a copy for everybody so each one of us can pray intently for our baby.

Then after the prayer, we released his signature baby blue and white balloons. These balloons included prayers of love - a quiet prayer in each of our hearts expressing our love for our baby Marcus.

30 baby blue and white balloons were released for our little angel

An intimate dinner with close family and close friends followed. Marcus' cousins (Ate Mica, Ate Elisse, Ate Bea, Ate Cielo, Kuya Miguel, Ate Daniela, Kuya Maxi, Baby Magnus) were all there to celebrate.

Side note, a beautiful story:

Before dinner started, my 10 year-old niece, Cielo, went up to me and said, "Tita Jet, I have a gift for Marcus." 

I responded with, "What is it? Is it a love note or a card?" (She loves making handmade cards and love notes) 

She said, "No... me! I'm the gift. Because I am here for his birthday!"

How sweet is that?! A heartfelt and pure sentiment from a sweet little girl. Where did her innocent thoughts come from? Did our baby boy whisper to Cielo to say those words to me? Angels were present on that day.

And what a beautiful sunset. The day was bright without a single raindrop (despite the gloomy weather forecast). From the afternoon till night time it was cool and breezy. The night was clear and bright. A beautiful Sunday.

The food: catered by The Red Chef (very patient and accommodating despite the windy night)

Dinner with my siblings - Ate Mache, Ate Belle, and Chebs who brought their family (my in-laws Lizza, David and nieces & nephews).

From left to right: Fr. Maxwell, Ate Mache, David, Ate Belle, Atty. Agnes, Atty. Blanca

Pretty nieces, the Ates - Mica, Bea, Elisse

Uncle Bonx (Chebs) with Mica

With close friends: (from left to right) Papa Jhon, Christian, Patricia, Anastacia, Mike

Same friends with Mama Jet this time

The group under the beautiful night's sky

Ferdi followed not so late that evening, as well as my bestie, Mela (who came from the airport straight from Singapore). OJ and Charlene went too. And my dear cousin Ate Dot came with her friend Chris. Grandma Myrna also sent us (via driver) her gift and a love note - she apologized that she couldn't join us.

Overall it was a gorgeous night. Jhon and I were happy that our family and friends were there for our baby Marcus.

It is a tricky (yearly) event, our baby boy's birthday. Do you celebrate a birthday? It is quite tricky asking people to celebrate with us. Here it is -- simply put, it is a remembrance. We remember the short but meaningful life of our little angel. We remember that we was here and we remember our love for him. We remember that he matters. We remember him.

Happy birthday my baby Marcus! You are very much loved :)

Happy Birthday My Love

It's your birthday my baby boy. Two years ago, you were born at exactly 8:57 a.m. at The Medical City. That was the most glorious moment of my life.

You would've been two years old now - walking, talking... and very much handsome. I see you as a very happy little boy, very well-mannered, smart, and of course, sweet as can be.

Today, Mama and Papa planned an intimate celebration with close family and close friends to remember your very special day. Mama has been planning this for a week and a half - everything is set.

At 5:00 p.m., your very special guests will arrive. At exactly 5:30 p.m. Fr. Maxwell will celebrate Holy Mass especially for you. He was the same priest who celebrated for you last year.

It's a very beautiful day today, my love. It's bright and sunny! There is a fiesta going on across the street (the feast of the Baby Jesus - how timely!), and I see it as these people celebrating your special day as well. I was very worried that it might rain today based from the weather forecast - but guess what, it's the sunniest day! I know it's all because of you, my honey, you are tight with God and I'm sure you whispered to his ear to make this day a gorgeous day. Thank you my Marcus!

I will post pictures of the event this time around. I will make sure that today will be documented.

By the way, I have a gift for you, baby. Mama is finally designing your photobook. I am hoping to finish it soon and have it printed right away. It will be very beautiful... a beautiful memory of a very beautiful angel.

So Happy Happy Birthday my Baby Marcus!

Thank you for making Mama's life complete.

Mama loves you very much! Forever and ever.