You Would've Been 4 Years Old Today

Hello my love,

Happy Birthday!

I fell asleep last night thinking and praying for you, eagerly anticipating your special day. You would've been 4 years old now. I am missing you painfully that I could only think of one special post on Instagram to announce your birthday...

Nothing is more befitting (for me) of how I am feeling today. To hug and kiss you just one more time...

Your Papa and I are playing special songs dedicated for you today. I made you a special "happy" playlist and the music harps our apartment today.

As I Lay Me Down To Sleep

Awake

February Song

Clouds

I'll Remember

Kahit Isang Saglit

I Will Be Here

We lit candles with your Prayer Card displayed in our living room. And today, I will miss my cours pratique because we will celebrate your special birthday. I cannot go to class on your birthday. Not today. 

We will go to church and hear mass for you, light candles, and pray The Divine Mercy. Then we will buy you a beautiful and yummy Opera cake from the patisserie that invented it! And of course, your flowers. I'm excited to see what I will find at the flower shop for you today :)

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We are so blessed to wake up this morning and receive the sweetest gift - for you! Your Grandma Zenny, Tita Regina, Tito Suki, and Carine baby celebrated your birthday with you :) :)

Needless to say, your Papa and I were in tears. It's so special, right?! Thank you so much for all the love!

Baby Carine blew the birthday candle for you, and they released balloons to keep with our yearly tradition "to reach you" in heaven.

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We are off in a while to celebrate your birthday in Paris - a first :) Papa looks so handsome and wore a polo with your baby blue color. He dressed up to the nines for you, honey :)

I will post photos of our day, I promise. I know you are with us today, my angel, and are celebrating with us. (How do I hold back tears when I am missing you so much?!)

Je t'aime, my baby Marcus (love, love, love)

Here's the photo update of your birthday celebration in Paris, my love...

This is the pamphlet we kept as a souvenir from the church in rue de Vaugirard where we prayed the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy for you.

Papa Jhon so excited and happy to catch Dalloyau still open for us to buy your birthday cake. It was a very cold and windy afternoon, yet we braved the long walk because it is your birthday :)

After having dinner at a Korean restaurant, we were very lucky to catch a flower shop still open after 9 p.m. to buy your very special white roses. The owner was an old man who was very sweet and very accommodating to us.

Together with your birthday cake, we also bought some macarons to try out for "research" :)

Your birthday cake :) We chose the Opera because Dalloyau is the pastry shop that created this very popular French cake. Only the best for our baby boy. It was very good!

When we got home, I arranged your roses in a vase, lit a candle, and placed your prayer card together with your birthday gifts. Lola Talula knew that it was your birthday too!

Look how beautiful your roses are blooming the next day! This year I chose this gorgeous color together with your white ones. Paris has the best and freshest roses we've seen! Every time I see a rose, I always remember you, my love...

Fly

Sung by Celine Dion

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem'ry bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, don't shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don't wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light

Angel

Spend all your time waiting

For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel

Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here